


Immersive Anthropology

by shortitude



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alien genitalia!, F/F, Hermaphrodism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-01
Updated: 2012-05-01
Packaged: 2017-11-04 16:11:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/395691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shortitude/pseuds/shortitude
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How Rose and Terezi became friends, then friends who read books, then friends who watched weird pornos, then friends with benefits. In the name of science. (And the pouting Dave behind the curtain. Him, too.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Immersive Anthropology

**Author's Note:**

> HAHA, OKAY for the record, I blame Taz for this. And myself. And YOU, because how dare there be so few Rose/Terezi fanfics? Scoundrels - fix this. Fix it now. 
> 
> Timeline-wise, this is between the mindfuckery at the beginning, the stupidity of Karkat's shipping charts, and the end of the journey. Just make up your own time, stop pretending you're not here to read about lesbian sex. And on that note, Terezi's genitals as all troll genitals inspired by Xenosexual's designs. Tentabulges, whee!
> 
> (If you're still here, I'll let you read now.)

TG: so  
TG: not that im jealous or anything  
TG: i mean hey  
TG: its cool  
TG: you and tz getting along  
TG: disappearing for hours to fuck knows where  
TG: probably plotting our collective doom and cackling jegus rose i hope youre not letting her teach you how to cackle i thought you better than this  
TG: more composed and shit  
TT: I am curious to see if this is actually going anywhere.  
TG: its going to fuck you rose land that’s where its going to  
TG: anyway what im trying to say here is that  
TG: i am okay with you and terezi getting your seer bonding shit together  
TG: i just wish youd stop doing it when were scheduled to have a thing  
TT: Dave, as fascinating as your irony-covered bullshit is to read, I would like to point out that it is usually Terezi who dictates the when and where of our tête-à-têtes, so if you are trying to tell me to - as you would put it – lay off your troll bff, I will invite you to direct those concerns to our delightful miss Pyrope.  
TG: wow  
TG: you just  
TG: totally missed the point??  
TG: im being supportive of these reunions rose calm your tatas  
TG: stop analyzing shit that aint there  
TT: My apologies, I thought it was a roundabout invitation to explore the truth behind your confusing inter-species feelings.  
TT: Note that I took the time to air-quote feelings in person.  
TG: cool story  
TG: nah  
TG: that aint it  
TT: What then, Dave?   
TG: im just wondering  
TG: wtf do you guys DO on your own that needs you to be gone for hours?  
TG: rose?  
TG: you there?  
TT: You wouldn’t be interested. 

 

\--

 

The first few times Terezi corners Rose alone in some room on the meteor, they end up talking about psychology. It takes their favourite subject to bring the two of them closer together, to melt away the ice walls put up by Rose’s _savant_ knowledge and Terezi’s clear irritation over how often the human reminds everyone that she’s smart shit. (Hey, _she’s_ the blind troll who can see better than anyone and ironically got named Seer, but she doesn’t go around passive-aggressively reminding everyone that she’s pretty badass!) 

As it happens, their favourite subject of discussion is, actually, Dave’s numerable issues. The first conversation begins on a cheerful note, as they classify books alphabetically and Rose tries not to cringe when Terezi licks their spines to tell who wrote them – seeing as they are in Alternian, she sees no reason to impede the one troll in the room from _not_ making an alphabetical mess. Neither of the two can remember who brought up the subject first, but they end up talking for about an hour, heatedly debating Dave’s possible – and impossibly funny – Oedipus complex (Rose has to explain that one to Terezi, granted). 

It’s exhilarating to realize that there’s a troll on the meteor – other than Kanaya – to whom Rose can relate. It only takes a few more casual discussions to realize that she’s grown rather fond of Terezi, much in the way one grows fond of an overly-sharp Swiss knife. (Rose never had a Swiss knife. The tool had been too unsophisticated and brutish for her mother’s house. All she’d ever used were designer corkscrews, and now she was finding out there were other facets and other uses for said facets, and it was pretty much like Christmas. In a subdued way.) 

One day, Terezi comes into Rose’s room while she is knitting an ironic hipster winter scarf for Dave out of alchemized wool and hands her a book. 

“It’s a little drooled on, because I used to read it all the time. There’s dragons in it, but there’s also lots of wizards. Since we’re all facing certain death by boredom here for three whole sweeps, I figured I might as well keep my intelligent co-Seer alive somehow!” 

Terezi’s all grins and teeth and good intentions that baffle Rose; she would’ve never shared her books. Rose doesn’t say that she can’t read Alternian to save her life, and in the end she doesn’t need to. 

Two months into their three-years travel period, Terezi begins to teach her. 

 

\--

 

TT: You have to understand, I am not saying this in an attempt to dissuade you from asking, nor am I particularly trying to shed a veil over our illicit trysts.   
TG: bullshit   
TT: Oh, but it is not!  
TT: We just spend time together, Dave. Last I consulted with the book on etiquette, it was not a crime to enjoy the company of a troll upon discovering the two of you have much more in common than the title that unites you both.  
TT: Succinctly put, sometimes a girl needs to disconnect from the turbulent quadrant trouble and take a break from talking in masterful ironies and simply discuss philosophical themes that have been pestering her think pan for a while. Quote unquote.   
TG: huh  
TG: kay but  
TG: i guess that’s cool too let the girl have some her time with my weirdo ectosis whatever  
TG: she could talk about philosophy bullshit with me too  
TT: I think this is the part where I choose to leave you to think about the depth of that statement. 

 

\--

 

There’s talk on the meteor – mainly from Karkat – about quadrants. Terezi pretends to be oblivious to it because it’s less of a headache that way, because the short and irritating troll cannot for the life of him decide on what he wants, and Dave is not much better about it either. She tells Rose this, once, while they are battling – dragon joins dark magician in an epic battle against the Lord of Time and Boredom! – uncharacteristically breaking out of character just to point it out. 

“Karkles has been chasing Dave around with schedules of what smells to be shipping, and I just want to smack them both on the heads with them because for some reason they’ve concluded that it’s totally normal to keep bitching about me without actually _talking_ to me about this!”

Rose lowers the broom that was her Arcane Orb of Resurection and nods as she imagines Sigmund Freud would’ve nodded during sessions with his patients (when he wasn’t busy relating their every problem to penis-envy or wanting to bang their mother, she imagines). “To his defense, he’s being very thorough if a little idiotic in not involving you in this entanglement, considering how you represent the axis around which they should both be revolving.” She smirks a little at Terezi’s _bluh!_ , and decides it’s better to change the subject. 

She’s known – truly gotten to know! – the troll for long enough now to realize that their time together is as much an intellectual pursuit as it is born out of a need to be away from, crudely put, stupid boys. While Rose would like to defend her brother, purely out of family pride or some such, she decides that perhaps it’s Terezi who should decide who – if any! – shall be the contender to her heart and underwear, and not outside parties. Simply put, if the girl wants a sanctuary away from this idiocy, then by Chthullu will Rose provide! 

“He even had a book. I took it,” she casually adds, and the effect is instant. 

“Do you have it here?” Terezi asks, lowering the cap of her dragon cloak and stroking her chin thoughtfully. “Because we could further your studies, test how fluent you’ve become at reading it.” 

“Perhaps even read it in character?”

“Miss Cantaloupe, sometimes you are just _too_ sharp!”

 

\--

 

TG: so you like  
TG: what  
TG: read shit and debate it together?  
TT: Primarily, yes.   
TG: primarily means theres more  
TT: I am incensed by your dominance over the English language, Dave. Pride swells up in my chest whenever you prove to master words longer than two syllables. It tickles me pink!  
TG: i will tickle you stupid if you keep that up  
TG: i mean hit you when i say tickle you  
TG: its not like im just dying to tickle you until your tiny tits jiggle and you sob for breath and mercy at the same time or anything sick like that  
TG: youre taking notes of this arent you  
TT: Every single word.

 

\--

 

One day, Rose finds Terezi purely by instinct. She’s in a dark room in one of the lower levels – surveillance room, she calls it, once she’s stopped being amused at how Rose found her so easily (“Did you sniff me up?”) – and there are disks covering every wall from top to bottom, with one computer screen in the middle. 

“Some of them are movies,” Terezi explains. She doesn’t explain that she has a feeling part of this collection – especially the burnt cds with human movies on them – was probably gathered up by Sollux. She does brush her fingertips over the edge of each disk, and it’s almost too longing and tender to bare, so Rose has to stop looking. 

“Hey, look, I think this one says erotica,” she points out, picking up the first of many cases in a row, which all say the same thing. 

“Nicely read, Rose!” Terezi congratulates her with a grin on her face, her back to the pile of human world movies, and Rose wants to press the tension out of the troll girl’s shoulders, somehow. 

“Do you want to watch this?” she asks. “As research.” 

 

\--

 

TG: do you two at least have fun?  
TG: or is it all just dreary and deep and longwinded conversations about dead guys who couldnt decide whether or not their kids should study music or not  
TG: hint the answer was yes toolbags  
TT: We amuse ourselves, yes. Sometimes we even watch movies.   
TG: whoa  
TT: Sometimes we talk about you.  
TG: gd 

 

\--

 

They’ve watched fifteen movies, and there are five more cds left. By now, neither is pretending that they’re _not_ watching weird porn. The movie room is their own place; Rose wouldn’t bring Kanaya here, just like Terezi wouldn’t bring Dave or Karkat here. The agreement was mutual and unspoken, and it suits them both just fine. 

It occurs to Rose that no matter how odd it is to see some very handsome specimens getting it on over a bucket, it’s even odder that none of the movies have shown her a clear picture of their genitalia. She imagines a lot of things, of course, although for some reason – she knows the reason, but wants to ignore it – whenever there’s a troll playing a vital part in one of her wet dreams, she focuses more on the cackle in her laugh, the sharpness of her nails, and the cleverness of her tongue. 

“Rose, what do human reproductory organs look like?” Terezi asks, ripping the ground from under Rose quite effectively. “I’m asking this because I’m a little curious, and also because none of the dirty scenes in human romcoms ever show a thing.”

Unsurprisingly, Rose is dumbstruck into silence for a few seconds too long, which seem to invite Terezi into an odd series of actions. 

She’s not looking at Rose, although she knows every bone and nerve in Terezi’s body is as hyper-aware of the other girl beside her as Rose’s are aware of Terezi. The troll has her knees pressed together, and her profile – when Rose lifts her eyes to her, when she finally dares – shows the tension in her jaw, the curiousity-inducing curves of her lips, the softness of her skin. 

“Well,” Rose finally speaks, her voice low. “I would know how to explain this, if I knew what trolls have, so I can compare properly.”

 

\--

 

TT: Honestly, Dave, it’s nothing harmful. I don’t understand this sudden interest, but if you were to take a moment to put things in perspective, you would realize a very important thing.  
TG: yeah whats that  
TT: You can only benefit from this situation.

 

\--

 

Terezi’s skin is softer than Rose would’ve imagined. She’s imagined troll skin’s texture before, with Kanaya’s, but the two of them share enough casual touches for the mystery to be gone. With Terezi, everything is shrouded in mystery. And at the same time, everything is exposed and clear. 

There’s a spot behind Terezi’s left ear that, when Rose gets her mouth on it and sucks, makes her groan and squeeze Rose’s breasts a little harder. If this is a drug – straddling Terezi’s lap, with her hands angling Terezi’s head to the side, the skirt part of her robe pulled up to over her hips – then kissing Terezi is like walking into a den of lions while dressed as a lamb. 

In many ways, it’s like kissing a drawer full of knives, but Terezi is incredibly tender and careful with where she puts her teeth. She only pricks Rose once, the corner of her bottom lip, and almost immediately pulls away with wide eyes and parted lips, an intensity in her expression that only grows when she brushed her thumb over the scratch and draws a red line down to Rose’s jaw. 

“You’re stalling,” Rose has to say, because this is too much, because Terezi’s lifted her knee up and pressed her thigh against the apex of Rose’s thighs as if she knows _exactly_ what she’s doing, and Rose has to point out this confusing expertise.

“Seer of Mind, remember?” Dangerous teeth nip at the column of Rose’s throat, and Terezi’s hands settle on Rose’s hips and push her down against a bony thigh. “I know exactly what you want.” Seduction is completely blown to hell when she follows that line with a cackle, but Rose doesn’t care. She couldn’t give a fuck right now. 

“You are still stalling,” she points out _again_ , and runs her hands up Terezi’s shirt. Further up, around small mounds, and notes with little surprise that the presence of nipples to squeeze and lick is lacking. Nevertheless, she will adapt to the circumstance, as soon as she gets Terezi’s shirt off. 

“You are _way_ more impatient than I would’ve expected!” the troll points out, and lifts her arms so her shirt can be taken off and thrown in a corner with little regards for wrinkles. 

“And you are exactly as smartassed about this as I imagined,” Rose interjects, and kisses her again, because it feels right. 

“Well,” says the Swiss knife when they pull apart, “I’m glad we’ve both aired out the truth about having fantasized about this.” 

“Quite. Now perhaps we can get to the part where you take your pants off already?”

The Swiss knife smiles, all white teeth that Rose leans in to run her tongue over in an inspired moment. Hands hook in Rose’s underwear, and then they begin to pull. “You first.” 

There is a moment of awkwardness in which they learn that there is no sexy way to take off your panties when you’re straddling someone, and Rose is infinitely grateful for Terezi’s tact and her ability to resist simply ripping them off. She can’t promise the same patience in return, because her own hands find themselves tugging at the troll’s pants rather adamantly, unaware of having caught her underwear as well until, suddenly, there are no clothes left on but Rose’s godtier robe, and Terezi’s wild smile. 

“Oh, my,” Rose says, inspired as always, and sits back against Terezi’s knees to look. It’s beautiful. She never expected to think that of someone’s genitalia, but what Terezi has is fascinating. There is obviously a nook, which she’s heard of before, dripping teal; when Rose draws an inexpert finger up along the side of it, the colour sticks to her skin and she has the odd impulse to give it a taste. _Another time_ , she thinks, and moves upwards, to the other part of Terezi’s sex. “I admit that when you were mentioning bone bulges, I never quite expected _this_ ,” she murmurs, and wraps her hand around what she can only describe as the most interest, teal-coloured – 

“You’re totally getting off on the fact that there’s a tentacle in my pants, aren’t you?” 

“Can you not hear my bosom heave with excitement? Now, hush, I’m exploring.” She wouldn’t call it a tentacle; there’s a clear definition to it, and Rose determines that she can only refer to this as Terezi’s bone bulge. Because thinking too much on the name of it retracts from the absolutely hotness of the moment. When she wraps her hand around it, she swears it moves ; tries to curl and hook around her hand while Terezi’s head drops back and she lets out a curse in Alternian. “No, _your_ puss-infected lusus,” she curses back, and draws her hand up. 

“Wow, I want to hit you for being such a smart-ass _now_ of all times.” It’s impressive how Terezi can get so many words in one rushed out breath. Rose doesn’t know if she could. Then again, she doesn’t get to learn either, because the moment the troll girl has decided this exploration needs to be mutual and run one clever finger along Rose’s wet slit, it’s pretty much good bye words. 

“Hnngh.” 

Terezi laughs. Rose squeezes her bone bulge and slips one finger inside her nook until that laughter cracks and she feels victorious. For a second. Then, Terezi’s fingers are inside her, twisting and moving and thrusting and she is 

Just

“You smell so good right now.”

_How_ does she say something so creepy yet manage to make it sound like the most sensual sonnet ever? “Is this what it’s like with boys, too?” Terezi insists. 

Rose takes a breath to compose herself, and shakes her head against where she’s leaning it on Terezi’s shoulder. “No,” she breathes out, and draws her hand up and around the bulge again. “It’s a little more external – ah – like this…” 

“Cool,” comes the answer, “More tentacles for you, huh, Rose?” 

“Stop talking.” 

The cackle is the last thing Rose allows before she focuses all her abilities – which aren’t many, considering how this is the first time she’s doing this! – on making Terezi gasp and moan and bite Rose’s shoulder through her clothes. The victory is probably mutual, and it’s just not _fair_ , because it takes considerably less for Terezi to reduce her to a garbling mess, completely inarticulate, and how shameful at that. 

Then, she kisses Roses mouth and pulls back to say, “Next time I want to taste it.” And that’s it. There goes Rose. She’s pretty sure she screams at one point, and grabs Terezi’s bulge too hard, but it doesn’t matter. When she comes down from the high, there’s a teal coloured puddle on the floor, and they’re both panting and laughing at the same time, and none of that post-coital _Fuck what have we done?_ horror ever settles in.

They lie on the floor and talk about wizards and dragons and Dave and Vriska and Rose’s mom and Karkat, until their legs stop feeling like boiled spaghetti and their asses start to get cold. Then, only, they get up. Rose helps Terezi get dressed, and thanks her for her still intact underwear, and then share one last peck on the mouth. There’s nothing sensual about it, and she is pretty sure that if they’d been boys, that would’ve been a fist-bump; but it’s tender in ways that make Rose want to keep the troll girl for a very long time, and the promise of ‘next time’ hangs over them like a very bright thing. 

Of course, Rose in incapable of going without at least digging her finger into the nook of the secret problem, so after they’ve cleaned Terezi’s mess off the floor, she says: “I am fairly sure that Dave would also be very okay with what you have, Terezi.” 

If the unspoken issue had a target painted on it, Rose knows she’d have hit the bull’s eye. Predictably, Terezi’s motions slow down, the only hint at hesitation, before she looks at her with a sharp grin. “I am fairly sure your patting his back if it comes down to it will help.” 

Trumped again. This is why she likes her. 

 

\--

 

TT: Don’t worry too much. I’m sure we’ll invite you to join us, eventually. 


End file.
